Silent Truths

The Strange Truth

There’s a strange and sobering truth about how we treat life and death: we pour our hearts, tears, and energy into honoring someone after they’re gone, but we often give far less when they’re alive.

We craft eulogies filled with admiration, attend services, and speak with deep conviction about how much someone meant to us—yet, in their presence, we may have struggled to make time or express those same sentiments.

Isn’t something fundamentally off here? Why does it take death to awaken us to the depth of love we should have been showing all along?

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.” — Proverbs 3:27

We assume we have endless tomorrows to say what should be said today. We assume they know how we feel, that they’ll always be there, that our busy lives justify the unspoken words, the delayed phone calls, the visits that never happen. But when the finality of death arrives, we suddenly realize what we should have done—when it’s too late to change it.

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” — Proverbs 25:11

Imagine if we reversed this pattern—if we lived with the same urgency of love before someone is gone rather than after. What if we spoke the words now? What if we gave the time, attention, and kindness today instead of tomorrow?

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” — Proverbs 18:21

There is something tragic about saving our best words for funerals when they could have been gifts in life. There is something deeply wrong when we let death be the only thing that shakes us awake to what truly matters.

“Whoever pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity, and honor.” — Proverbs 21:21

Perhaps the greatest act of wisdom is not waiting until someone is gone to cherish them fully. Perhaps the best eulogy is one spoken while they can still hear it.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” — Proverbs 17:17

So let’s not wait for loss to teach us how to love. Let’s give honor, gratitude, and love now—before it becomes a regret we can never undo.

While You Have the Chance

When someone dies, we feel their absence acutely. The grief is raw, the memories flood in, and we suddenly realize all the time we wasted. We mourn the conversations never had, the visits postponed, the love that went unspoken.

It’s as though death becomes a magnifying glass, exposing all the moments we took for granted.

And yet, the truth is this: grief doesn’t create love—it reveals it.

The love was always there—dormant, unexpressed, buried beneath the busyness and distractions of life.

“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.”
— Proverbs 27:1

If we truly understood how brief and unpredictable life is, would we still hesitate to express love, forgive, or reach out?

The passion we pour into honoring the dead should be redirected toward celebrating and loving the living. We must not wait for loss to teach us what we should have already known.

“Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.”
— Proverbs 3:3

Love Is a Choice

Love is not just an emotion we experience in times of loss—it is a choice we must make every day.

We often assume there will be another chance, another conversation, another moment. But love delayed is love denied.

“Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until He comes and showers His righteousness on you.”
— Hosea 10:12

We are called to sow love now, not later. Love that is kept unspoken, hidden, or postponed becomes like unplowed ground—wasted potential.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
— Proverbs 17:17

If we are meant to love at all times, why do we often hold back until it’s too late?

Make Every Moment Count

Life is filled with distractions, but relationships are what truly matter.

Choose love over pride.
Choose peace over resentment.
Choose words of kindness over silence.
Choose presence over excuses.

“For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.”
— Hosea 6:6

God values love, mercy, and connection over all else. If we live by this truth, we will never regret how we have loved.

Don’t wait until death forces you to reflect. Let love be your guide, not grief. Speak, forgive, embrace, and cherish—while you still can.

Love While They Are Here

The Bible repeatedly calls us to prioritize love and connection—not later, but now.

Paul’s words in Ephesians remind us to live with intention:

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.”

Paul isn’t speaking in hypotheticals—he is urging us to stop wasting time and make every moment count.

Similarly, James paints a sobering picture of life’s fragility:

“Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”

We are here for a moment—a fragile, precious moment—and we are called to live with urgency, not apathy.

Perhaps the most powerful call to action comes from Jesus Himself:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

Jesus didn’t love people passively or from a distance.

He spent time with them. He listened to them. He met their needs.

His love was active, sacrificial, and deeply personal.

If we are to follow His example, we cannot wait until a funeral to express our love.

Before It’s Too Late

Imagine if we approached life with the same energy and intention that we bring to grief.

What if we didn’t wait until someone’s absence to appreciate their presence?

What if we lived with urgency in love, rather than regret in loss?

We often assume there will be another chance, another conversation, another day. But the truth is, love delayed is love denied. Speak the words now—don’t save them for a eulogy. Tell your loved ones what they mean to you today.

A simple “I love you” can mean more than we realize. Call them, write them a letter, or make time for a conversation that has been put off for too long.

Love unspoken is love withheld.

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might, for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going.”
— Ecclesiastes 9:10

Beyond words, show up. Presence speaks louder than promises. It’s easy to say, “We should catch up soon,” but how often does that moment never come?

Be there. Visit. Share a meal. Celebrate their victories. Sit with them in their struggles.

Life’s most meaningful moments are not grand gestures but the simple acts of being present when it matters.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
— Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

At the same time, forgive freely. There are few things as tragic as a broken relationship left to time’s decay. Life is too short for grudges, and regret is a heavy burden to bear. Let go of resentment and choose peace over pride. Where reconciliation is possible, take the first step. Love demands that we heal wounds, not let them fester.

“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”
— Song of Solomon 8:6

Lastly, make time. The busyness of life is an easy excuse, but when all is said and done, what will truly matter? Productivity fades, achievements are forgotten, but relationships endure. Prioritize people over schedules, over tasks, over distractions. We do not get time back.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot.”
— Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

Start today

Love while you still have the chance. Don’t let loss be your teacher—let love be your guide.

Why Wait for Death?

One of the most sobering verses in the Bible comes from Ecclesiastes 7:2:

“It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.”

This verse doesn’t mean we should live in perpetual sorrow. Instead, it’s a reminder that death has a way of clarifying what’s truly important. But why wait for death to teach us? Why not take it to heart now, while life is still present and relationships can still be nurtured?

Let’s live in a way that leaves no room for regret. Let’s honor people while they’re alive, not just when they’re gone. Let our passion for life match the passion we feel in grief, so that when the time does come to say goodbye, we can do so with peace, knowing we loved fully and well.

Something Is Wrong

You’re absolutely right—something is wrong. It’s wrong that we wait until funerals to gather, until death to celebrate, until absence to express love. But the good news is this: we can change.Let’s choose to live differently.

Let’s be intentional about our love, our time, and our relationships.

Let’s live in a way that reflects the truth of Proverbs 17:17:

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

When our lives are marked by this kind of love, we won’t need to wait for grief to remind us of what truly matters. We’ll already be living it.